This is not a test! Repeat, this is not a test. This Holiday Season, you should be on the lookout for creepy things hidden within innocent-looking Christmas items, which grocery stores stock around this time of year. Their nefarious scheme is to turn Christmas into Halloween in order to make more money by selling things like this:
But be not afraid! By instituting the annual Holiday Awareness Message, also known as the "Christmas H.A.M.", we are dedicated to increasing awareness for what to do if you find yourself an unwitting consumer of one of these dangerous items...
So please, be safe this season. And don't try to be a hero. These food items are dangerous, and should not be approached without due fierceness and preparation.
