CBR #3: A Boy's Dorm

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to one of the darkest places you can imagine and have lived to tell the tale.  May this review serve as a warning to you all.

If you ever find yourself in one of the boy's dorms on my campus codenamed NH, I urge you to find an alternative for your bathroom needs.  Run out the door screaming, if the need arises.  I was once foolish enough to go use the NH bathroom.  After opening the door, I had to take a step down into the realm of terror.  I literally descended into the nightmare.  Finding this the kind of place that one needs to sterilize before coming into contact with, I used toilet paper as a form of protection in my interactions with the regular bathroom tools.  Stall walls?  Nowhere to be found.  Signs of age?  Everywhere.  The light wasn't literally flickering, but it might as well have been.  I beat a hasty retreat as soon as my hands were throroughly washed.

I can't describe what it is about this dungeon that's so terrifying.  Maybe the sensation of closing oneself into a small, old chamber is just an experience that only the bravest can face.  Maybe it's the fact that the disrepair comes from heavy use by everyone from the most careless lazy bum of a student to the sweatiest, grimiest athlete in the building.  Either way, I think the best service I could do for everyone in the area is to put caution tape in front of the door.

CBR #2: Bowels of the Library

To get to the location of my second review, brave adventurer, you must first pass a test of both directional sense and wits.

The beginning of the maze is on the main floor of the library. Upon entering, the building seems to be a place of easy-mannered fellowship and learning...don't let this presentation fool you. Although portions of the library are safe, there are more things than you've ever dreamt of lurking in the more remote, secret places.

You must next approach the white door. This is your portal from the land of normalcy and smiles tossed casually over the shoulder into a lurking-inspired place. The journey down a steep, dimly lit set of stairs inspires a growing sense of dread with every step. However, do not let this deter you. Those who enjoy the light will have less difficulty braving the next obstacle.

The next leg of this journey leads you to white, blank, stretching, abandoned hallways through which you must previously know the way or have a guide. I am pleased to say that I have successfully guided one desperate wanderer through this labyrinth, so if you ever have need for my aid, please feel free to summon me any time.

Once you enter the lair in question, you will surely notice, in your astuteness, that it seems quite old and abandoned. However, you will also shrewdly observe that, despite its age and obscurity, this hideaway is also strangely clean and well-kept. How is it, you will surely wonder, that such an ancient, hidden place hasn't fallen into terrible disrepair? Well, my friend, I have a theory.

Among my various observations is the realization that the room is mostly empty of all things except the necessities, with the conspicuous exception of one corner. It has a watering can and a candle. Where might such unexpected objects come from, and why would they be in this bathroom?

I suspect that there is a forgotten, wizened old caretaker dwelling somewhere in the building.

Would someone please help me find him?

The Birth of a Review Series

Hello, readers! Meet my blog. I'd like to introduce you two, but I think the best way for you to get to know Bloggie is to throw you kicking and screaming right in the middle of it. Before I do, two quick points to make...
1)The topics it will examine are covered in the title.
2)Some of the posts will be very serious in nature. Some will be decidedly not. As for this first entry, well, you can be the judge...

This school year, I expect to use at least every campus bathroom at least once. Those of you who have been on outings with me know why. For those who haven't...let's just say that doctors will never have to prompt me to provide a sample for testing. Due to this expectation of excessive bathroom visits, I've decided that it would be beneficial to many if I did a review for each campus bathroom. And so, a review series is born! Enjoy.

Campus Bathroom Review #1: Right of Main Entrance in Gosser
The moment I opened the door, light flooded to my freshly receptive eyes. I could almost hear the airborne choir belt out a victorious major chord! The place was spotless. It had those connected countertop sinks (you know, the ones that always have puddles of water all over them?), but these had the gleaming lights reflected off of it in a very luminous, not-wet way. I floated into the red stall (And yes, extra points are rewarded for color). No toilet paper. Anywhere. Well, except on the roll, because if there hadn't been any there, this story would have ended very badly...
When I was done with my business, which I am pleased to say ended well, I emerged to see pretty, expensive-looking mirrors over each sink. I felt like royalty, let me tell you. After washing my hands, paper towels were right by the sink. RIGHT BY THE SINK, PEOPLE! Not up on the wall, not halfway across the room, not replaced by a dang hand dryer that takes an hour to get you from sopping to slightly soggy. I didn't even drip on the counter! That, my friends, is a good day. A good day indeed.
My official recommendation is: ladies, if you gotta go, go to Gosser.
(Warning: opinion is subject to change as more bathrooms are visited.)

So, ladies and gents, there goes the first post! My intention is to encourage responses at the end of every entry. Whoever wants to say "hi, and yes, I'm reading", go for it! Those of you who go to CU, as I do, tell me what you think about the bathrooms and let me know which one to review next! I'll make a special trip if I have to. ;) For anyone who doesn't, feel free to share with me and all the readers about bathrooms on your campus (or school, or workplace)!

This is Deidra, signing out!