Unfathomable Females

Now, before you point out the obvious: yes, I am aware that I'm a woman.  I've had the indicators for a while now.

I just don't happen to be the most girly girl you'll ever meet.  There are a few things I get girly about (which Steve loves to remind me of when I start renouncing my feminine qualities), but most of the time, I can't identify with really girly women.

Which is where this list comes from.

Things I Don't Understand About Women

• The fascination with shoes.  Especially uncomfortable ones.

(If you haven't guessed, I wear tennis shoes, converse, or skate shoes most of the time, and I wear one pair until they wear out.  My current pair is purple tennis shoes, since I know you were wondering.)

• Purses.  There's nothing you girlies would put in a purse that I wouldn't put in my pockets.  At least, not anything you actually need.  (And while we're on the subject, girl's pants deserve big pockets too!  If any of you readers happen to be clothing designers, please give me some bigger pockets on my girl pants.)

• Blaming your period for your attitude.  Okay, maybe I "understand" this one, but I don't agree with it at all.  Yes, I have had times when my period made me feel yucky.  No, I didn't take that out on people I like.  The cycle happens every month; learn to deal with it already.

• Make-up.  It's more trouble than it's worth, except for occasional use.  And by "occasional", I mean maybe once every couple of months.

• Drama.  How is that a form of entertainment? 
  
  
• Being overly emotional about everything.  Not everything anyone says has a sinister underlying meaning, people.
  
  
• Manicures.
  
  
• The love of pink.  The only shade of pink worth anything looks like this:
  
  
  
  or maybe this:
   
  
  
  but NOT baby pink.
  
  
• The fear of dumb things, like bugs or harmless little spiders.  Being aware of their presence is one thing, and I'll even allow you to be paranoid and keep an eye on the little buggers.  However, screaming like a banshee and clawing the arm of the person nearest you is not an acceptable response.  The thing is barely a fraction of your size.  You look like a wuss.
  
  
  
• Enjoying things that make you cry.  If I only had a dollar for every time I've heard: "Oh, it's such a good movie; you have to see it.  It made me cry like a baby!"  Why do you want to cry?  Crying is an indication of bad things.  Let's not forget that.
• Tanning.
  

Anything you want to add to the list?

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