The traffic lights here shun me.
Did I do something to offend them, perhaps? The day we met, I looked up at Traffic Light (who, coincidentally, has a twin brother who works just one block over) in eager expectation that he would provide stellar service. Maybe this was offensive, because he then decided I was unworthy of any affection from him; too lowly for a moment of his attention, even. Because of this bad first impression, I spend every commute ever-so-patiently waiting for him to bestow his gracious favor on me, which he usually submits to only because he feels sorry for the other unlucky drivers in the area.
Today, I admit to you (as long as you promise not to tell!) that I was chasing my brother down the road for the sheer joy of it. Traffic Light's twin casually gave my brother a jaunty green greeting, but at the sight of my laughing face, he scornfully turned his red back on me. I was left sitting somewhat dejectedly at his feet, watching Privileged Drivers happily make their way to unknown destinations. Okay, maybe I sulked a little, too. But this is the kind of blatant dislike I face almost every day!
I say "almost" because on a mere handful of occasions, I've caught the twins in a good mood. I'm not sure what it takes to make them so happy; it could be a matter of an exotic Black Plastic Massage or a risque Rewiring. It's hard to know because I've never had to bribe one before...
I've come to the conclusion that they must have an unjustifiable hatred for me and my people. By "my people", I mean all those who go against the norm, who aren't afraid to try something unconventional. People who don't drive down main street, but perpendicular to it.
The Traffic Light Twins are so mainstream!
1 comment:
I's red most of the time because that light works off a weight in the pavement, to tell if a car is there or not, as long as you get some of your wheels on it, you're be good to go. also good tip, the lights on main street are timed to make it easier to go t-words Lebanon rather than t-words Greenberg. That said, your way of describing traffic control devices' tendency's is both poetic and profound.
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