(definition further explained in this post if you still aren't satisfied)

Monday, June 28, 2010

What Fella?

Today, when we were visiting family for a little while, my aunt asked me, "So, who's the fella?"

"What fella?"

Then, silence.

Darn it all.

Why does family always feel the need to ask if you're dating someone?  It's like from the moment you hit high school, they expect you to be sending out some sort of irresistible pheromones that make

being single=complete failure as a human being

and that's just so wrong that it's nauseating.  Whether it lasts or not, being single is not a bad thing at all.  It means that you're being careful about who you choose to date (at least, that's why I do it).  To be honest, at this point, I'm really used to not dating.  I can accidentally flirt with whoever I want without worrying too much about it.  (Accidentally flirting is an unfortunate tendency that I'll save for another post.)

I was discussing this with a close friend of mine, and she agreed wholeheartedly.  She said that "Every single holiday they all always ask the exact same questions, and after a while, you wanna just put it all on a t-shirt to wear in the middle of dinner that says 'yes, I'm still sticking with my major, I'm doing fine, I like school, I'm in my third year, and I don't have a boyfriend.  Or a girlfriend, despite some of your opinions.'  And on the back, it would say 'and yes, I'm very happy for my cousin who's the same age as me and is getting married and squirting out kids as fast as she can even though I'm not doing the same because I'm out having fun!"  She wanted to add curse words to the sleeves for giving her family the cold shoulder.  We'll just say that she feels strongly on the subject.

I'm guessing that pretty much everyone (over the age of what, like, two?) goes through the same thing every time they visit family.  If you're single, they grill you wondering why you aren't dating.  If you're dating, they want to know everything about your boy/girlfriend and their family.  Why can't you do your own thing without everybody questioning it?  They could always just ask about what you're doing with your life and then let you know that you have their full support.  I don't think I'd mind the questions so much if that was the case.

What are your feelings on the subject? 

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Wee Hours

It's about time this blog had a list, so I thought I would make one that I knew a little something about!

10 Reasons To Stay Up Late
1) no traffic!
2) no sun to get in your eyes or make deathly summer heat
3) better music on the radio
4) Patsy the friendly Wal-Mart night shift woman
5) long talks and philosophical thoughts (they're easier in the dark)
6) the moon and stars
7) you can do things by candlelight
8) midnight pancakes
9) cricket songs
10) lightning bugs

Have something to add to the list?  Leave a comment!  Want to make a list of reasons to be up during the day for your own blog in a little friendly retaliation?  Bring it on!  One way or the other, try to enjoy staying awake during the wee hours if you get the chance.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Just a short post to honor this momentous occasion:
I beat Kingdom Hearts II!
Happy face!
Now, pictures.

Here's the realm of darkness that Riku and Sora almost end up stuck in forever.
This is the letter that Kairi sends to them.  (Click for a larger version if you'd like to read it.)
And I had a picture of the final boss, but I'm having trouble making it cooperate.  Hmm.  Maybe I should have expected that...

All photos found with Google.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I Like The First One Better

Since I think I'm getting close to the end of it...it's beyond time to talk about Kingdom Hearts II!

I loved playing the original Kingdom Hearts, so I played the second one as soon as I was done with the first.  It felt different immediately.  Of course, a big part of that was the fact that I was suddenly dealing with completely new characters and not seeing any old ones and wondering what the heck happened here?  The story was new, the locations were new...it felt like I'd stumbled upon a new game entirely.  But I checked the box.  This was definitely Kingdom Hearts II.

It wasn't until Sora appeared on the scene practically out of nowhere that things felt familiar.  (He's the main character from KH1.)  Then Roxas, the guy I had been playing that I thought was the new main character?  He disappeared.  And I'm not talking a I-must-have-looked-the-other-way-during-that-plot-point disappearance.  That little dude literally faded into thin air.

The plot is using different events and characters - along with help from Ansem's Secret Reports - to slowly let me in on what happened between the two games to change everything.  Although the writers seem to enjoy dragging out all the particulars of that explanation to last the entire game.  But that doesn't bother me at all.

...Okay.  You don't have to drag it out of me.  I'll admit that if it wasn't so interesting to slowly learn what happened to Riku and what's up with the Nobodies in Organization XIII and stuff like that, the fact that it's taking so long would be annoying.

It might be just a little annoying as it is.

Anyway, circumstances aren't the only thing that changes between the first game and the second one.  The bosses in KHII are significantly easier to defeat.  I mean, I've left worlds after fighting the boss only once.  If it doesn't take me a good chunk of time to beat someone, I hardly feel like it was a challenge at all.  And if I don't die at least once fighting it, is it really worth defeating?

That doesn't apply to Organization XIII members, though.  Those guys take some work.

Thank goodness Sora has his forms, which are new too.  When I first saw Valor form, I might've freaked out a little.  (Feel free to pretend you fell for that understatement.)  Add Wisdom and Master forms, and the game just got that more epic!  It's almost hard to imagine boss fights in the first one now without those forms to rely on if you got stuck in a tight situation.

The graphics are different, too.  Sora has a kick-butt new outfit that I just love to look at.  Heck, if I could, I would probably wear those clothes all the time.  On top of that, each of the forms I mentioned earlier has its own look, and they're all equally awesome.

But there are drawbacks, too.  Does anyone else notice that the graphic designers alternated between giving Sora a full range of expression and using a puppet-Sora to just move his mouth and save them the trouble?  When they use puppet-Sora, I don't feel like I'm looking at the same character at all.  He feels lifeless and fake.  It's pretty disconcerting, actually.  Puppet-Sora creeps me out.

Well, as you can probably tell, I could talk about Kingdom Hearts all day.  But if I did that, what would I say when I want to make another post about it?  I have to save some of this back for another time!

Because it looked so nice last time, I have another picture for you guys today, courtesy of Google:

Does anyone else out there play Kingdom Hearts?  If so, get your geek on and leave a comment on this post!  We can all geek out together.  Or nerd out.  Or whatever you call a person who plays video games a lot.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Post Unexpectedly Full Of Celebrities

Today I was browsing my iPod while cruising in the minivan with most of my family...

There are a few things you should understand about my iPod before this story goes any further.  It's old.  A 30-gig-er, which they don't even make anymore, making this thing officially an antique.  I didn't own a computer when I got the iPod for Christmas a few years ago, so it never had its own iTunes setup.  Basically, music got put on it completely at random and there's not a computer copy of my music anywhere in the entire world.  Plus, I haven't downloaded or added anything to the collection in at least a year (I listen to the radio or music over the internet, usually).  Add the fact that the audio output is messed up and won't play out of one ear (translating into me holding the headphone jack partway in just to hear music in both ears), and this is the saddest retro mp3 story I've ever heard.  And this relic belongs to me.  I deserve for a true music lover to beat me with a guitar.


So I was riding along looking through the artists on my "sigh"Pod when I came across Selena Gomez.  (Don't judge me, okay?  A friend put those songs on there.)  And I started thinking.

You know how young celebrities who star as lovers always seem to end up falling for each other?  It happened with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgins (those dorks from High School Musical 1 through 1 million or however many they have now).

What about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson?  (I thought I might have heard something about that, so I just now decided to google it to verify, and as I was typing their names in the search bar, the option "Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson dating" came up.  And the links look promising.  So it has to be official, right?  Right.)  

Basically, it happens all the time.

But I was wondering: what if someone fell in love with their costar who plays not their lover but their...brother?  :gasp!:

Because the one acting gig I know Selena Gomez does is the Disney Channel series Wizards of Waverly Place.  And it's not inconceivable that she could fall for the guy that plays her older brother.

Nope.  Not completely inconceivable.

I imagined poor Selena collapsing on her bed and crying for hours, snow falling outside her window as she let her tender, aching heart pour out of her eye sockets.  (Okay, so maybe Beauty and the Beast influenced my imagination just a little.  I can't control these things.)  I imagined her scribbling her thoughts about her crush in a journal, unable to let the world ever see her true feelings because if the press ever got hold of this, she'd never hear the end of it.  Everyone would think of her as a sick pervert just because they see this David guy as her brother and not a potential boyfriend, and all just because that stupid Disney channel had to cast them that way!  Oh, the injustice of it all!
me writhing with the injustice of it all  
(perhaps not one of my best moments)

Aren't you glad that we aren't celebrities who have to worry about that kind of thing?

I mean, it could happen.

Blog-reader bonus:  The song by Selena Gomez that I know is good!

(I thought the song "Naturally" was kick-butt before I realized that she's the one who sings it.  So there.)

P.S. I managed to figure out how to get a video on this post, but not how to write a caption for a photo!  Pathetic.  Can anyone tell me how to do this?  Thanks in advance!


All photos found using Google.  Except for the last one.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Aquatic Activities

This summer is all about the water!  It seems like everyone I know wants to spend most of their time fishing and/or swimming.  Pretty much all of my friends are going to get me to swim with them in various rivers before the break is over.

My first love is the beach and my second is the pool, but I'll even swim in rivers for these people.

I wasn't so sure about the fishing at first...but my friends keep trying to convince me.  I'm not exactly your typical "fishing" type.  I think one of the people trying to get me to go has figured that out.

Here's how the conversation went:

Friend:  "It's really not that complicated.  Anyone can do this kind of fishing.  Here, tell me: if you were fishing and you felt a big tug on the line...what's the first thing you would do?"

Me:  ..."Drop the pole?"

Turns out, the correct answer was "pull".  That was my next answer, I swear!

So I said that I would go fishing sometime before the summer is over.  We'll see how that goes...I'm sure that an after-fishing blog post will be absolutely required!

The Homework Title Is No More! Introducing...

I was thinking again about what to title my blog.  Then inspiration hit!

I had been considering a lot of different aspects of the writing, but the most fun I had was thinking about the kind of imagery I like.  One of the options I rather liked was a Lantern of Lightning.  The only problem was that it didn't really have anything to do with anything...

Then I realized that when I shortened the title into initials, it became LoL.  Something clicked.

That is just too perfect not to use now, I thought.

So, if you want it to make sense, I can say that a lantern of lightning symbolizes my brain, with synapses firing inside, and this blog allows readers to see through the glass of that lantern to the inside.  I could say that the ideas I share with you might light up paths or aspects of your surroundings that you hadn't seen before.  I could add that the initials "LoL" show the fun, humorous side of my writing.

Or, if making sense doesn't matter to you, I can just say that I like it and I'm using it and there's nothing you can do about it.

Except that I'd still like to hear your thoughts on the matter.  Comment with your approval or disapproval!

I'm way too excited to let this title wait now that I have it, so I'm changing it now.  Unless someone has a life-changing argument against it that can truly move my heart and soul, it's here to stay for a while.

Next...the layout!  But don't get too excited.  You know how long these things take me! 

Monday, June 14, 2010

Order Now?

I've had a bit of blogger's block for the past few days.  Just now, I was going back through my Facebook profile page, scrolling down and hoping to find something to inspire me for a post.

Shockingly, I actually found something that I deem worthy of sharing.

It's amazing how you can look back at something you said just a month ago and be thrown by how much you actually like it, especially around those times when you feel like an epic fail.

Status update at the beginning of May:
I think that everyone should own a t-shirt that says "I need a hug" to carry around with them at all times, just in case.

I can't even remember what I was going through at the time that would prompt me to say that.

But I still like the idea.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I'm Not As Emo As I Sound. It's Called Realism!

Okay, has everyone read the disclaimer?  Are you ready for the rest of the post?  (For anyone wondering, the title is the disclaimer!)

..........:cricket:.....:cricket:.........:cleverly disguised cricket:........

Awesome!  Now let's begin.

I'm a freaking attention whore.

I've come to this realization over two days of journaling and contemplation, and I'm not happy about it.  In fact, thinking about it puts a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I've had lots of time for thinking the past few days.  I've thought about some of my closest relationships and the differences between them (just for fun.  And yes, before you say it, I know I'm delightfully strange).  While I was thinking about the way I feel and care for some of these wonderful people, it suddenly occurred to me.

Some of what I feel is based on the attention they give me.

I hate that.  Absolutely hate it.  I genuinely love my friends, and at the core of it, the way I care about them is too strong for any small matter to damage.  Usually, I don't think the statement in italics above affects that.  But sometimes it does.  And I never want it to.

Sometimes, when I'm in a group of people, I'm focused on a specific person that especially captures my attention because of my interest in being close to them.  Sometimes, I want them to shoot me the occasional glance or something, just to prove that they're noticing me too.

I feel distant toward people who talk about themselves and don't ever ask about me, and I really like spending time with people who give me attention.

I want to argue that I honestly like fading into the background sometimes too, when a thoughtful mood strikes me.  But that's probably my body's natural defense against attention whore-ism kicking in.

I had a short conversation with a friend today (about an almost entirely different subject), and this person innocently said something about the amount of attention I require.  They didn't even know about these thoughts, because you're the first to hear about them!  This means that someone besides me is seeing this.  Which confirms my worst suspicions about myself.

I have a quote that applies well to this situation:

"If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it."  

Well, I've found an evil of myself.  And I plan to correct it...the moment I can figure out how.

Wish me luck.

A Writer's Journal Brain

I've picked up journaling again lately.  I haven't actually done that for...I guess it's been a year now at the very least!  It feels like forever.

I had forgotten what it was like.

Now that I'm doing it again, at least for a while, I talk (well, write) to that journal as if it's a close friend.  I found myself complimenting it earlier tonight for its limitless patience!  I mean, it "listens" to me about anything without tiring, no matter how much I ramble.  And I can be completely honest without it judging me.  You begin to think that you're a really open person who doesn't have much of a bad side to hide when you talk to your friends, but when you write out your thoughts truly unedited, even from yourself (which can be more difficult than it sounds), sometimes you begin to see that the bold truth is a scary thing indeed.  There have been a couple of times that I surprised myself a little.

This post is meant in no way to upset any of my friends who are reading.  I love having long talks with the people I'm close to and telling them almost everything, I really and truly do.  Writing is not going to replace that by any means! It's there as a tool and a nice past-time, but no matter how often I compliment it, it's never going to be a real friend to me like you guys are.

I go to it whenever I have something I want to thoroughly think through, because writing out things helps me to figure it all out.  It's kind of like a different form of thinking for me; if floating in my head isn't the right way to think, I write it out.

Plus, if I were to have something that I couldn't talk about for whatever reason, there's always writing.  Usually, if I can't talk about something, it's because I've taken whatever I'm thinking through and worn someone out on the subject before I'm finished with it!  Fortunately for me, a notebook never gets tired of my subject choices.

So, if you're a reader who feels like commenting: Have you ever tried journaling?  Do you have something else that helps when you're thinking through stuff?

P.S. At first, I spent lots of time thinking to get it perfect...but lately, I have been slacking on the blog title that needs to be changed.  I now hang my head in shame.  I'll start tossing ideas around again and get back to you soon!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Do they call it the present because it's something you like to get?

Hey, guys!  It's only been since Friday since I posted, but it feels like forever.  This posting-most-every-day-I-have-internet-access thing is working a lot better than I thought it would.  I'm enjoying it a lot, and my writing's getting quite a bit better.

No, really.  It is.

I think today's the day to talk about the past.  I know, I know.  I hate thinking about it just as much as you do.  I've grown up a massive amount in just the past year, so remembering the person I was in high school and even, sometimes (gasp) middle school (gosh, I was such a brat) is a bit painful.  I'd pretty much rather forget that girl altogether.

But despite that, I was reminded of my past more than once today, and it wasn't always in a bad way.  Our pasts are always a part of us and they help form us, so maybe it's time to give them a little recognition.  Just a little.  I promise, it'll only hurt a bit.

Remember that stage when all you cared about was that one thing you wanted people to think of when they thought of you?  I saw people who wanted to be seen as "the singer", "the techie", "the music-obsessed one", "the freak".  Yes, I actually knew people who would like it if you called them a freak.  People are that desperate for an identity, and for some reason, when we're young, we try to make an identity out of one thing.  I actually chose "writer" for a while there.  Believe it or not, it was good for me.  I mean, sure, I overdid it.  At that age, I didn't know how to not overdo anything.  But even though I was worried about always being seen with a notebook in hand, choosing writing to have an interest in was actually the start of something amazing.  I got really lucky with that.

What about your angsty stage; do you remember that?  Yeah...that was awful.  A lot of times, the angst came with strange style choices, like the people who went all "goth" or "emo" temporarily.  I will shamefully admit to trying to be "goth" for a while.  If I had a time machine, I might just have to go back and slap myself for that.  I suppose it doesn't count as an actual waste because I did learn things and grow during that time...even if the main thing I learned was that goth wasn't me and I should never, ever do that again.  I'm glad that's over.

And did you ever do things to get attention that were just plain stupid?  I've seen so many people make fools of themselves over something just ridiculous.  Of course, I've done it too, but I can't think of any specific times at the moment.

I'll tell you what to do if you're bored sometime: go find some little kids playing on a playground or something and just watch them.  (On second thought...only take this advice if you are reasonably young and safe looking and basically not the middle-aged-man-with-a-beard-who-likes-to-wear-a-trench-coat type...)  Once you've found some kids to watch at a safe distance, see if you can spot it.  There will always be someone that's doing the look-at-me and being kind of loud and obnoxious.  The funny thing is that since they're all so young, none of the kids really notice quite how annoying that one kid is.  To us, it's obvious because we've all done it.  But they're still growing up, and they're too busy trying to figure out what they're doing to worry much about the crazy kid trying to do a flip off of the monkey bars only if everyone is watching first.

Well, that was fun!  My laptop is trying to die now, so we'll blame the abrupt end of our memory lane trip on that and not the fact that we'd bludgeon those days with a spiky stick if they weren't already dead and gone.

I'm glad we know better now!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Flirting With Fear

My laptop charger refuses to work for me anymore (it handed in its resignation sometime a few weeks ago), so last night I came to campus to get on a computer.  Everything was fine and dandy for a while: I was in here by myself, typing to my little heart's content, and not worried about a thing.

Then he came in.

A stranger got on a computer at the far end of the room.  I studiously ignored him because societal rules have always told me that if you don't look at someone you don't know, they won't bother you.

"Hey, I have a question..."

Somebody's been lying to me.

This guy asked me a question about the computers, so I looked over to give him a quick answer.  He had this sprout of something growing out of the top of his head.  I'm pretty sure it was hair. 

After giving him the answer and him telling me that he "appreciated it", I thought that I had done my duty.  Sure enough, after a little while, he left, allowing me to soak up my peaceful oblivion of solitude once more.  So everything was fine, right?  That's the end of my story?  No, sir.  He came back in a few minutes later, and this time, he took the computer beside me.  The rest of the computer lab was empty, but he was right there, close enough for me to poke.  Good thing I had no urge to do that whatsoever.

After a moment or two, he started up a conversation.  They were little questions, so I thought he was just being a friendly stranger, since I've encountered people like that before.

"How long mumble been mumble?"
"How long have you been going here?"
"Oh, a year."
"mumble mumble taking classes mumble mumble mumble"
"I took some in May, and might take more later this summer.  You know."  (I thought that asking "what" too many times in twenty seconds might get me stabbed or something.  I mean, I still didn't know this guy.)
"You drive?"
"Umm, yeah."

This went on for another minute or so.  I was kind of thrown by the randomness of this stranger talking to me, but it's in my nature to be nice to people and not to rock the boat, so I was trying to be polite.  After I'd let him go on for a few more sentences, I decided it was time to leave, so I stood up.

"Well, I'm gonna get out of here now."
"mumble mumble have your number?"

I don't usually use emoticons in blog posts, but that's the only way to describe what I said.  Because I didn't say anything.  Because I was too busy making the face that a person makes when they're caught completely off guard. 

I would have been willing to give up chocolate for two weeks if I could have teleported away at that moment.  Instead, I had to settle for the way I actually reacted after I'd had a few seconds to recover.

"I...ummm, I don't actually know you, so..."
"That's why I want your number, so I can get to know you."

Great.  Now I could understand him perfectly.

"mumble mumble mumble..."  This time, that was me.

At this point, I was standing in the doorway, because I had been taking cautious steps backwards during the conversation.  I turned to leave, but I had to figure out a way to say "goodbye" without being too friendly or telling him I'd see him around.

So I waved awkwardly.  Then I shot the heck out of there.

That's the first time I've ever been "hit on" that openly.  I mean, there have been times when we'd leave a place and my friend would say "he was flirting with you, by the way", and I would be surprised, because for some reason I seem to have trouble picking up on that.  But this was completely different.  I've never been asked for my number before like that.

But I got out of there without giving it to him.  And he got a wave.  I think I handled it well.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

He's basically awesome.

My brother, Jamie, deserves a cake all to himself.  Or possibly a small country.

He and I grew up together, turning to each other when we needed someone to play with, because we lived out in the country and there weren't any other options except the cows in the fields behind our house.  Since we both decided that a sibling was better than a cow, we've always been close.  Now that I go to the same college as he does, we're living together in a little house here in town.

Living with me can't be very easy.  For instance,
  • I am female, and that means that on one day each month, I feel crampy and yucky.  Even worse: if this coincides with some other cataclysmic event, like a hot day, I get extra cranky. 
  • As mentioned in the previous post, I can't keep a bedroom clean for anything.  I don't always keep other rooms clean as I go either, so there are days when Jamie comes home to my school stuff tossed carelessly on the couch and other random bits of my life strewn all over the living room.
  • It's my job to do the dishes, so sometimes it comes time to eat and we meander into the kitchen to see a full counter and an empty cabinet.  Oh, the shame.
These things don't make me the worst housemate in the world, but they are shameful nonetheless. 

As if that isn't enough, I know that I always let Jamie see my worst side.  That's easy to do with family members because they've known you all your life, and you know they can't just stop being your family even if you make them mad.  When I have something that bothers me just enough for me to complain about but not enough for me to try changing it, I end up talking to Jamie about it.  Goodness knows he's suffered through enough car rides of my nonstop chattering.  Poor bloke.

He has to deal with my crazy lack of a plan every time I go out with friends, my bad housemate tendencies, and my persistent habit of going to him with life complaints whenever I need someone to vent to.

What I'm trying to say is:
Thanks, Jamie.

Now someone please get this boy that country I promised him.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hello There, I'm Deidra.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a post with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 10 people to be tagged. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

A certain Sunny Insomniac in "Somewhere Sweltering, Texas" has decided that my blog is worthy to be tagged in this lovely little game!  (Thank you!)  Wanna know more about me?  Too bad, I'm doing it anyway.  :)

1~ I had surgery for a cataract when I was five.  For those of you who don't know, a cataract is something in your eye that makes your vision go all fuzzy.  Most of the time, it's really old people that get it.  Seriously, go to google and type it in.  It'll take you to websites with picures of smiling elders everywhere.  (Don't ask me why they're smiling.  I guess they got the surgery too.)  Basically, they somehow removed the natural lens in my eye and replaced it with a glass one.  (If you want to know how that's done, you can look that up on google, too, but it's not for people who are queasy a.k.a. those who dislike eyeball violence.)  If you happen to look at me at just the right moment, when we both happen to be positioned certain ways in respect to the source of light, you'll see my eye glowing like a cat's eye does at night.  That's from the reflection of light in the glass. 

2~ I can't keep a bedroom clean for anything.  At this point, I think I can't function in anything that's not a mess.  I've been trying to clean and organize my room lately, but when it comes time to find a place for something, I stand up, put my hands on my hips, and stare at it with a sputtering, frying brain in the hope that it'll decide the best place for itself on its own and go there quietly just because I'm that intimidating.

3~ I've always been into fantasy.  As kids, my brother and I read Baby Unicorn and Baby Dragon about a gazillion times.  As a college student, Lord of the Rings has a special place in my heart and I still like to read books with new takes on mythical creatures.  I especially love Tolkein's depiction of elves.  This doesn't make me someone who goes to Excalibur conventions dressed as a goblin or whatever; I just like fantasy stories.

4~ When I was a kid, my favorite doll of all time was Polly.  The "patches" on the pattern of her dress made me think that she was always a poor little orphan girl in my imagination, looking for love in the strangers she met on the street.  I think she always found it eventually.  Why else would she always be smiling? 

Poor old Polly's put up with some abuse over the years.  Her face is always dirty now, even though you can still see her original freckles underneath.  I think her neck is technically "broken", because you can feel what I assume to be styrofoam moving around inside of her bonnet.  Her injuries are the true signs of love...at least for a childhood doll!

5~ I've always been crazy about chicken.  My mom used to say that I would either get completely sick of chicken one day and never want to look at it again or turn into a chicken myself.  I still eat chicken all the time in place of hamburgers or whatever when I eat fast food.  And I haven't found any feathers yet.  Maybe I should start keeping an eye out for that.

6~ I was in marching band through part of middle school and all of high school.  I played flute (my original instrument) at first.  I know the flute is ridiculously girly, but hey, what can I say?  I first picked it because I thought it had a beautiful sound, and I couldn't abandon it just because most of the girls who play flute are ditsy and earn us all a bad stereotype.  I ended up changing over to the synthesizer (a.k.a. electronic keyboard) for most of the time I was there.  (Before you ask, the synth player stands in the pit, which is front-sideline percussion, so you can stop wondering how one marches with a keyboard strapped across their chest.)   I know marching band sounds really corny, but honestly, ours was a pretty awesome to be in.  We had some really cool people, and we pushed hard to bring the competition.

7~ I wish I could draw, but I'm no good at it.  The same goes for dancing.  I'm learning to live without being able to beast either one of those.

8~ I took tap dance and gymnastics classes for five years.  Go ahead.  Laugh at the irony.

9~ I'll go a long way to keep my word.  If I tell you I'm going to be somewhere, I'll be there.  If I'm not there for any reason, I'll call if at all possible to tell you why.  It bothers me when someone says they're going to be somewhere and they mysteriously aren't, so it's valuable to me to be able to say I'm dependable for that kind of thing.  I always imagine people waiting and crushed with dissapointment if I'm not where I say I'm going to be.  That's because I've been the crushed person waiting more than once.

10~ I love Doctor Who.  It's a sci-fi British television show that my brother introduced me to.  Science fiction?  Yes, please.  British accents?  Heck yes!  Isn't every girl a sucker for an accent?

11~ My hair likes to lie flat, but I like to muss it up a little at the top to make it kind of fluffy.  Think very slightly emo-inspired.  This leads to a lot of spray fights in front of the mirror and some rather interesting hair days sometimes.  Also, it's naturally straight, which would be fine with me, except that sleeping on it usually messes up that little compromise and causes it to do this weird little flip-in-on-one-side, flip-out-on-the-other thing that I've come to detest.  I know that it's all a little superficial, but my hair is the one thing that has to look at least okay.  I can get up in the morning and throw on any old jeans and a t-shirt...in fact, I usually do.  It's just that when I feel like my hair looks really bad, it makes me feel unattractive, but when I think it looks good or at least okay, I'm fine with anything else being less than beautiful.  I'm really not that girly.  Don't judge me!

12~ When I was younger, I was one of those scrawny girls.  I didn't even have a little belly pudge to worry about.  All that changed when I hit...well, I guess it must have been puberty.  All I know is that one day, I woke up to find that when I wasn't looking, some curves invaded.  The most noticeable thing was the hips.  I was like, "wait, what?  Now I have to actually turn sideways to get through tight spaces!"  I was so used to being scrawny and straight up and down, like a stick, that it took a long time for me to think of myself as someone with any curves at all.  And with the more womanly curves came the belly pudge.  I have a little bit of fat there, but shhh, don't tell anyone!  I try to hide it.  The dang thing doesn't want to go away.  Probably because I rather enjoy eating.

13~ I'm most comfortable sitting down when I can put my feet up.  Recliners, big chairs, and couches are my friends.  I've also been known to curl up in a kitten-like ball sometimes.  One of my friends once looked at me when I was doing that and said that it must be uncomfortable, but at that point I was already asleep.

14~ I participated in NaNoWriMo this past November for the first time.  (For anyone who wants to know what that is, try this "about" page on the NaNo site.)  I didn't win, but I got close and I learned a lot, which is why I decided to do it in the first place.  I plan to try again this year.

15~ I'm still learning to drive a stick shift, and I'm getting quite a bit better at it.  Until I'm a boss at it, my brother is driving the straight-shift car that was meant for me, while I drive the automatic meant for him.  He named the car that I drive Luke, so naturally I named the one that he drives Leia.

16~ I used to think that I needed quite a lot of sleep to operate, but college set me straight on that.  I can stay up for a long time and run on no sleep if I want to, especially if it's for being with my friends.  For instance, I haven't gone to bed tonight and I've been looking over every few minutes to see the progress on the sunrise happening outside the door right now.  Don't worry!  I'll probably sleep half the day away when I go home. 

17~ Obviously, I really like writing.  I'm also a pretty good singer can can never resist singing along with a song I know.

18~ I like to dip brownies in ranch sauce.  No, stop...don't make that face!  People always have a bad reaction to that little tidbit of information.  So did one of my friends the first time I told her that.  Then she tried it, and now she likes it.  So there.

19~ I believe that the media has given almost everyone unrealistic ideas about love.  In our culture, it actually takes work to figure out that love won't make everything in your life perfect just because you've found someone you're obsessed with.  I believe that real love is something more realistic and more identifiable than that, which makes it that much more wonderful.

20~ Since I said all that, I guess I should also tell you that I'm single.  I'm pretty sure my life could get ridiculously complicated right now if I wasn't!  My view on dating is that if it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. 

21~ I wear contacts.  I still like the idea of getting purple ones someday, just for special occasions.  And yes, "special occasions" might even mean your average trip to Wal-Mart if I'm feeling particularly crazy.

22~ If I paint my fingernails, my favorite color for it is definitely blue.  The same goes for toenails.

23~ I broke both the bones in my leg in seventh grade, so the doctor put in nine screws and two plates to help it heal right.  They leave those in, and I have two fairly impressive scars just above my ankle on each side as an added bonus.  Mom wanted me to put lotion on them to help them heal better, but I wanted some awesome scars to tell stories about, so I never really used the stuff.  She still doesn't know that's the reason.

24~ Although I listen to a variety of music, I used to listen to more alternative, which can be angstier than my newer favorites.  Nowadays, I love just about anything with a really good beat, which is working to my advantage right now because the popular music seems to be geared toward dance-type songs like the feel-good stuff by Kesha and Lady Gaga.  I'm a happier person in general than I used to be and I honestly think that's the reason for my changed taste in music.

25~ I picked up an application today (well, technically yesterday now) for a really nice restaurant in town.  I had someone tell me that they could put in a really good word for me there, and since it seems like you have to know the right people to have any hope of getting a job anymore, I hope this connection translates into a job.  Here's hoping!

Whew!  Coming up with 25 random things is a lot harder than it looks.  I had fun, though.  And I like reading them, so who are our next contestants?

I'm tagging:
Kaely at I couldn't sleep...
Hannah Mae at Hello life, glad you're here
Amanda at It's Blogworthy
Kappa no He at Kappa No He
Caitlin at The Christian Psycho

That's all I've got for now.  I don't have a whole lot more blogger friends than that, and the ones I do have either wouldn't be interested or have already been tagged in this game.

You know a little bit more about me now!  Wasn't that fun?

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Next time, I'm naming the whole post after you! :)

It's a beautiful summer day.  The sun is shining, the clouds are white and fluffy, and the sky is the palest blue!

What does that mean?

It means that I don't even want to poke my head out of the door until eight at night.  At the earliest.

The sun is not exactly my besty.  I've always been pale, except for that one time in middle school when I was first exposed to marching band.  The sun kicked my butt that time.  I recall some snarky comments made in the hallways about my "makeup", actually.  Is it a wonder that I don't have any overwhelming urges to tan again?

Besides, I've always seen a certain beauty in good-looking pale people that just can't be achieved by those people who tan until they look more like leather than skin.  I think there's something ethereal about them.  I can imagine them dwelling in the trees, offering rest and wisdom to wandering travelers, wearing flowing robes with their hair reflecting the moonli....

No, wait.  That's Lord of the Rings.

Anyway, the heat is not my friend.  We're not even casual acquaintances.  I loathe hot weather, and I'm pretty sure it hates me back.  My loyalty lies with a love of rainy days, and storms get me jump-around squealy excited, like a little kid.  If you ever meet up with me on a sunny day and I'm unreasonably angry at everything and nothing in particular, blame it on the heat.

So why do I find myself occasionally smiling when I see the sunlight coming in my bedroom window in the morning?  Why on earth would I ever wish for a glimpse of the sun's rays, even after days of cloud-covering darkness?

It's actually because of a new friend.  I didn't ever really talk to him until this semester, but now he's fully integrated into our group of friends, and we can't imagine life without him.  Heck, we can hardly imagine a day without him!  He doesn't exactly count as "new" in my mind because he's been around for months now, but for the sake of this blog post, I had to suspend that.  It makes a lot more sense to talk about my new attitude because of a new friend, even if the truth is closer to "I just now started seeing the sun since I got to actually know this guy".

Anyway.  Back on topic.  I couldn't figure out why I was getting a little friendlier with the sun than normal until I talked about it with another close friend.  She suggested that it was because this guy friend absolutely loves sunny days, and we weren't used to being around anyone who got excited over them before.  Then, ka-blam!  The truth finally shined through (pun intended).

Turns out, we like sunny days more than we ever have before just because we know that when we wake up to see the sun shining bright, we also know that he's going to be happy.

Happy sunny day, Caleb!

Caleb: I know you weren't expecting to see your name in my post today.  I wasn't either, or I would have asked your permission.  The subject just came to me while I was sitting here, and I know you're out in the sun right now, so I'm not going to call you to ask if I can reveal your name to my millions of readers (haha).  Forgive me!  I can remove your name if you want.  Just let me know. :)