(definition further explained in this post if you still aren't satisfied)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Do they call it the present because it's something you like to get?

Hey, guys!  It's only been since Friday since I posted, but it feels like forever.  This posting-most-every-day-I-have-internet-access thing is working a lot better than I thought it would.  I'm enjoying it a lot, and my writing's getting quite a bit better.

No, really.  It is.

I think today's the day to talk about the past.  I know, I know.  I hate thinking about it just as much as you do.  I've grown up a massive amount in just the past year, so remembering the person I was in high school and even, sometimes (gasp) middle school (gosh, I was such a brat) is a bit painful.  I'd pretty much rather forget that girl altogether.

But despite that, I was reminded of my past more than once today, and it wasn't always in a bad way.  Our pasts are always a part of us and they help form us, so maybe it's time to give them a little recognition.  Just a little.  I promise, it'll only hurt a bit.

Remember that stage when all you cared about was that one thing you wanted people to think of when they thought of you?  I saw people who wanted to be seen as "the singer", "the techie", "the music-obsessed one", "the freak".  Yes, I actually knew people who would like it if you called them a freak.  People are that desperate for an identity, and for some reason, when we're young, we try to make an identity out of one thing.  I actually chose "writer" for a while there.  Believe it or not, it was good for me.  I mean, sure, I overdid it.  At that age, I didn't know how to not overdo anything.  But even though I was worried about always being seen with a notebook in hand, choosing writing to have an interest in was actually the start of something amazing.  I got really lucky with that.

What about your angsty stage; do you remember that?  Yeah...that was awful.  A lot of times, the angst came with strange style choices, like the people who went all "goth" or "emo" temporarily.  I will shamefully admit to trying to be "goth" for a while.  If I had a time machine, I might just have to go back and slap myself for that.  I suppose it doesn't count as an actual waste because I did learn things and grow during that time...even if the main thing I learned was that goth wasn't me and I should never, ever do that again.  I'm glad that's over.

And did you ever do things to get attention that were just plain stupid?  I've seen so many people make fools of themselves over something just ridiculous.  Of course, I've done it too, but I can't think of any specific times at the moment.

I'll tell you what to do if you're bored sometime: go find some little kids playing on a playground or something and just watch them.  (On second thought...only take this advice if you are reasonably young and safe looking and basically not the middle-aged-man-with-a-beard-who-likes-to-wear-a-trench-coat type...)  Once you've found some kids to watch at a safe distance, see if you can spot it.  There will always be someone that's doing the look-at-me and being kind of loud and obnoxious.  The funny thing is that since they're all so young, none of the kids really notice quite how annoying that one kid is.  To us, it's obvious because we've all done it.  But they're still growing up, and they're too busy trying to figure out what they're doing to worry much about the crazy kid trying to do a flip off of the monkey bars only if everyone is watching first.

Well, that was fun!  My laptop is trying to die now, so we'll blame the abrupt end of our memory lane trip on that and not the fact that we'd bludgeon those days with a spiky stick if they weren't already dead and gone.

I'm glad we know better now!


Jody said...

I regret and don't regret anything about my past. I did my best with what I could at the time, I guess. I went through the whole "emo" phase - not really dressing or listening to the music that is associated with emo culture, but sort of the mindset. There's nothing wrong with being angsty. It's how you relate to the world at time, and you're coming into yourself as an individual. Just a part of the human experience.

Jamie said...

This seems to relate well to a few conversations we had somewhat recently. I'm not sure whether you blogged about it... When we talked about how people project images. So many people want to be seen a certain way, even now. It's not something that people just grow out of. I feel like people are (almost) always, on some level, searching for an identity and working to be seen a certain way. For most of us, the way people see us is important, if for no other reason than that it tempers our interactions with those people. I know people that want to be seen as "people in the know," "the caretaker," "the freak," "the talented one." Heck, I even recognize my desire for some kind of recognition in myself. What it is, or what they are (since few people push only one factor of themselves out there) I will leave for others to figure out. I don't know what my point is. I could actually continue this comment for PAGES discussing how this relates to interpersonal interactions, self-image, and more, but why do that? You're getting my point, I think.
Until next time,
Jamie (brother of the blogger)

Sunny Insomniac said...


Dude, that was an hilarious post!

No, really. It was.

My favorite was the trench coat bearded man.

Anyway, yes, I remember "that" person as well. The one that makes me cringe and laugh at the same time. I would burn the photos if they didn't make me 1. feel incredibly thankful I'm not that person anymore and 2. laugh so hard my side hurts. Cargo shorts. Flip Flops. T-shirts from thrift stores. 1 inch long hair. Maybe I watched Gilligan's Island and The Matrix too many times. I was one weird chick. And yet, my current husband still asked me to marry him.

I'm sure stranger things have happened.

Thanks for sharing. :)

Keep writing, yo!

~Sunny Insomniac

Deidra said...

Thank you for commenting, everyone! :)