Product of Silence: Combustible Friendship

This month's Product of Silence prompt is to "write a letter that you never intend to send".

Dear Marcie,

You gave me a first taste of betrayal.  It's funny now to remember your involvement in my life and the value I once placed on our friendship, because when you demolished all of that you did it so thoroughly.  The pain that once choked my mind is now so distant because of the way that experience repeated itself with new people, making me seasoned in these situations.

I guess that what you are to me now isn't so much a traitor or a liar as just an introduction to the concepts.

You had no way of knowing at the time how hard a chronically shy and insecure girl would take it when you stabbed her in the back, but honestly, I don't think you even gave a thought to the fact that other people had feelings because it was so long ago and at that age everyone is decisively selfish.  Then again, I know more than my fair share of people who never grew out of that, and I can't help imagining that you're one of them.

You certainly held your impact for me when we were friends; enough to leave a lasting impression.  I can still remember both of your names with no effort, which I can't say for anyone else that left my life when you did.  And I can still remember the way your freckles covered every inch of your skin, as if one separate part of you was trying to envelop the original.  You probably don't remember that I ever existed for you because out of the two of us, I was the one looking across whatever connecting lines we'd sown.

I know you were more to me than I was to you, because you had options.  I, on the other hand, was so shy that I had found myself unable to talk to anyone else.  They already had their choice of friends, and there was no room for me there.  That meant that when you talked to me, I felt my world open up in a drastic way.  There was finally some sort of communication between me and the world outside of my head, some rope thrown to me from the darkness that I could just see my end of.  I grabbed hold of it with fervor, desperate to experience what seemed so normal for everyone else I had ever seen.  Before you, I had been spending my days in nothing but loneliness, and to this day that is the one emotion that could make me feel insane with despair because it comes with a lifetime of bad memories.

When you told others how you really felt about our "friendship", I was absolutely crushed.  That one rope, that single hope, had been yanked away right before my eyes.  That was many years before I began developing my inner strength, so at the time, there was almost none to rely on.

I still don't know how I floundered through that darkness after you left.  When you were gone I didn't know if anyone would ever throw a rope to me again, and it was years before someone finally did.  I've had other so-called "friends" do the same malicious things since you, and the story only changes in the smaller details and the fact that I was quickly becoming better equipped to handle it by the time they came along.

That journey must have started with you, putting me in a situation where I would either learn to adapt or be destined never to recover.  The flavors of treachery and disillusionment soon become familiar, but with the power of your destructive friendship, I suppose I never forgot my first taste.

.

I Looked Down And Saw The Point Of A Blade

Why do so many people do practically nothing but gossip?

Turn on the radio or television, it's there.  Not just news, but shows admittedly about celebrity gossip.  Made entirely to talk about people that we're only supposed to care about because their career happens to expose their talents to the general public.  Let's not even talk about tabloids (especially because I know nothing about them besides the fact that they gossip and lie)!  People actually follow this stuff religiously, and I can't understand it.  If I'm that bored, I'll just read a book.

I wish that was the worst of it, but I see things in everyday life that bother me even more.  I see people just backstabbing all over the place, hear them talk about each other behind backs with things they would never say to that person's face.  I've heard two people literally talk about every single other person there (mind you, there were about fifteen of us); they went down the line and discussed every single one.  And in that entire conversation, I never heard a positive thing said.  Those people never had a chance to make an impression on a newcomer because their reputations were ruined by a person who actually barely knew anything about them.

I've had people make up crap about me too.  Doesn't everyone who goes to public high school get to deal with that?  You may have never done anything to the people who start this stuff, but it doesn't even matter.  I guess they do it to have fun or something.  I wouldn't understand.

It's frightening because I see kids growing up with this now.   There's a little girl about my sister's age (my sister's thirteen), and it seems like every time I see her, she starts talking about people again.  Different people, the same person as before.  It doesn't matter.  And she doesn't seem like a cruel or heartless person in general.  It's just something that she's taken to be so normal that she doesn't even think twice about it.  Does that disturb you?  Because it bothers the heck out of me.

It takes guts to confront people.  But if you have an issue with someone that's important enough, you'll bring it up to them because that's the only way to make it better.  If it's not important enough for that, don't bother talking about it.


For the commenters: Do you follow celebrity gossip, and if so, why on earth do you do it?  What was your reputation in high school?  Have you ever confronted someone who's talked about you behind your back?  Do you see kids growing up with the mindset that backstabbing is okay, or does it scare you how the media effects social interactions?