(definition further explained in this post if you still aren't satisfied)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

What's In A Date?

What if we switched up some holidays?

Halloween for Valentine's Day
Instead of giving me chocolate or a stuffed animal, Steve might try to scare the crap out of me for Valentine's Day.  He could t.p. my house, ask me for candy, and carve a scary realistic heart into a pumpkin.  The phrase  "Be Still, My Heart" would be found on merchandise everywhere.

This concept, however, I'm sure would stay the same.
Easter for Mother's Day
Imagine that instead of getting her flowers or a cute little "thank you" card, you had your mother look all over your back yard for eggs...and then you egged her with them on her special day!  (The eggs came from the "bunny", of course.) 

Thanksgiving for New Year's
Forget the alcohol, because people would forgo it for turkey.  Or, one better, they make the turkey by basting it in alcohol!  (I'm not sure what basting is, but it sounds like turkey soaked in bourbon or something, so let's just pretend that's what it is.)  Those blasting whistles would be filled with gravy, which would shoot out in a celebratory stream toward whoever's the closest victim.

Watch out, guys.  Those things are about twenty thousand times less innocent than they seem.

Mardi Gras for Earth Day
All that guilt you feel for not taking care of the Earth for the rest of the year?  Screw that!  Shake your money-maker until you've successfully knocked down all the recycling bins in your area so that you won't have to look at them anymore.  Buy beads you don't need, little masks you'll never wear again, and trample all that wasted material in the streets when you're done.  The world is your trash can...but only for one day.

St. Patrick's for Groundhog Day
In February, everyone in the world would converge to a place with precipitation, wait for a rainbow to appear, journey to the end of it, and watch the leprechaun to see if he had a shadow.

Labor Day for Christmas
Instead of exchanging gifts, everyone would do absolutely nothing.

all photos found through use of Google Image Search and linked appropriately


Joann Mannix said...

I'd be down for looking for eggs. I would not, though, appreciate being pelted with them.

Hilarious post.

Natalie said...

Hahaha, this is great. :D The Mardi Gras for Earth Day would be so ironic.

Chibi said...

Ha! Love this post - awesome. :)

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

LOVED this. After lots of holiday action, I particularly like doing nothing for Christmas, though I have to say Mardi Gras for Earth Day is pretty genius.