(definition further explained in this post if you still aren't satisfied)

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

"Why Is My Relationship Failing? Where Has The Romance Gone?"

I know I've been rather absent in the blogging universe lately, but I can explain...

  • I got Sims 2 and its expansions on my computer again, and of course that meant playing the game virtually non-stop for at least five days.
  • I've been practicing on my Rock Band skills yet again.  And it's finally paying off!  I managed to finally pass Less Talk More Rokk by Freezepop today.  Eat that!
  • I managed to finally fix my schedule at school.  I had do so much crap just to get to this point, so I'm relieved that my classes are finally set.
  • Various other complications were sorted through.
Although honestly, you can blame The Sims for a majority of it.

And now, in order to make this more of a real-ish sort of post, here's a thought:

Romantic relationships only differ from friendships in three main ways:  the type of feeling associated with the person, the presence or absence of a sexual aspect, and the pressure we put on the relationship.

The pressure we put on romance is one of the main reasons that those relationships are so likely to fail.

Of course, there's also the "type of feeling" - which leaves a person falling for someone who isn't interested in the same way - but aside from those instances (which almost all of us have experienced and managed to get over), the type of pressure we put on romantic relationships lead to their failure most of the time.

If you're a woman who's friends with a man, you put no pressure on him to spend an inordinate amount of time with you.  If he's spending time with other friends or wants time to himself, it's no big deal, right?  

Of course, if you were in a relationship with him, (for most people) that would be right out the window.

And what about influence?  A girlfriend may find herself tempted to try to change her boyfriend in a way that friends never would, whether she's trying to change his clothing style, his manners, his habits, or any of a number of other things.  This type of thing almost invariably leads to problems that could be avoided if the nature of the relationship was different.

I know there have to be other factors under the same principle, but for your commenting fun, I think I'll leave those to you...


Kaely said...

i think if someone goes into a relationship thinking, "well...this part of him/her annoys me, but we can change that later" then the relationship is doomed from the beginning.

if you want a relationship with someone you shouldn't expect them to change. of course it's nice if they do it on their own for you. but that's a completely different story.

the whole girlfriends/boyfriends-trying-to-change-their-significant-other-for-their-own-comfort/priorities/whatever thing really annoys me.

as far as the idea of relationships failing because of the pressure we put on them, i agree. but at the same time...idk. I mean...it's something that's always gonna be there, because we're human. But i kinda feel like it should be. like it's a good thing in a lot of ways.

Natalie said...

I think the best kind of romantic relationships are the ones that stem from friendships. You know? At least, I know that the person I want to marry has to be my best friend, if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with them and all. But yeah, I certainly agree that the pressure of it all does often lead to the relationship's demise.